Biological Family Visits

Through our blog, we have covered the first night checklist, but we haven’t covered biological family visits yet. For all parties involved, biological family visits can be hard. Sometimes, you have to come face-to-face with a person who hurt a child. Sometimes, you come face-to-face with a parent who really does mean well. But they just can’t figure out how to be a successful parent. No matter what, you always come face-to-face with someone who is important to a child who holds a special place in your heart. The child is confronting the tough situation they don’t deserve to be in. And biological parents are typically filled with shame, anger, and resentment at many different parties, including themselves, the state, the system, and possibly you.

But these visits are important in showing your foster or future adoptive child how you value the connections they made before entering your life. One of our favorite bloggers, Real Life Foster Mom, recently posted about what you should pack for a biological family visit, and we agree!

February 3, 2020 Facebook Post

The Discussion

Some followers argued family visits are a way for DFPS to see if parents are able to think through what children might need during a visit. To test their follow through of putting it together. Even if that is a true test of the parents, should it be?

These parents have enough to worry about: They are battling and attempting to overcome addiction. They are working on their court-ordered service plans. Oftentimes, these plans outline what parents need to do, but do not connect them with the resources to be successful. And finally, these parents are usually trying to make ends meet. Statistically, these families are victims of generational poverty and living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe they are even products of the foster care system themselves.

Our Encouragement

As foster and adoptive parents, we encourage you to do whatever you can to show up for the child. Pack them a bag with everything they need. Do not allow them to go without toys, diapers, or food solely because their biological family could not (or would not – we acknowledge this can also be the case) come to the visit prepared.