Foster Care: The Point Is To Get Too Attached

I recently stumbled across this Facebook post by Real Life Foster Mom:

Like many of her posts, her words stuck with me. As Arms Wide Adoption Services’ Director of Adoption and Foster Care Programs, it’s something I hear all the time.

“Fostering? That’s too tough. I’m afraid I’ll get too attached.”      

What I love about Real Life Foster Mom is that she is real with her followers. Although sometimes harsh, her words are true. Above all, she keeps the kids at the core of everything she does, writes, and documents.

Please Get Too Attached

Kids in need of foster homes have experienced unimaginable trauma – from abuse and neglect to abandonment. These kids have experienced so much trauma that the state has deemed their home an unsafe environment for them to live in. Can you imagine trying to be a kid when you receive no support, and on many occasions, experience the opposite of love?

It’s what motivates me to work hard every day and find families who are willing to get too attached.

My colleague, Melissa Daigneault Neeley, who is an adoptee, talks about the type of foster and adoptive parents we need here at Arms Wide Adoption Services in her blog series, Confessions of an Adoptee:

“You have to dive in, offering all the love you can, even if it means heartache for you later on. You are stronger than you think. And if you do everything in your power to put your child’s heart before yours, no matter the outcome, you will be better than you were before.”

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but what I am saying is it’s going to be worth it. We need people willing to get too attached. To show these kids the love they deserve. We don’t always know what the end result will be for them, but we know that with your help, love, and support, the journey will be a little bit easier for them, because you were there. You showed up for them. You changed their lives. Because you got too attached.

Start The Journey: Take the first step in getting started to be a foster or adoptive parent.

If you have the love to give, Arms Wide Adoption Services has the resources to help you and your family through your own personal foster care or adoption journey.

About The Author

As the Director of Adoption and Foster Care Services, Arianne Riebel, LMSW, LCPAA, oversees Arms Wide Adoption Services’ team of adoption and foster care employees, making sure each step of the adoption and foster care journey goes smoothly. While earning her Bachelor’s in Social Work at Stephen F. Austin State University, she first considered a career in adoption and gained experience working in the field during her college career. A few years after graduation, she completed her Master of Social Work at the University of Houston and gained a decade of experience in child welfare before becoming a part of the Arms Wide family.

Through her role at Arms Wide, she wanted to be able to give each child and family one-on-one support and attention. Her favorite part about her job is seeing people become parents or add more children to their family, and knowing that kids have found their forever homes. Read more about Arianne here.